Why American Cars Will Be All Over Your Kid's Room

"scoob" (scoobsti)
01/12/2015 at 14:31 • Filed to: murica, ford, chevy, dodge, chevrolet

I'll admit it. I never really cared for American cars. I've always liked European and Japanese cars more. Whenever I thought of American cars, I thought of shitty rentals and the like, which I know is a terrible thing, since I also know absolutely nothing about American cars from before my time (1996). But here's why 'Murica will kick ass.

Let me just preface this by saying it's not like I hate American cars. The Viper RT 10, for example, was the car that got me into cars, even though I still hold EDM and JDM cars (more) dear to my heart. (Look at my username, damn it.)

Given the recent crop of sports cars, supercars, and hypercars we've been seeing, you'll notice most of them are European. Some will be Japanese. A select few of them are American. One of them is Korean, but that's not what I'm talking about. Anyway, back to the few American cars. That's a problem because American hoon-mobiles are on the rise, in a world of recalls and mistaken identities. Go to the average mouth-breathing American car hater, and they'll probably say American cars are shit. I'm sure you have experienced this, either when you beat some douche in his modified Civic Si, or in some YouTube comments, which, as we all know, are full of the world's leading scientists, mathematicians, and engineers.

Look at what America has been building lately. Hellcats. FISTS. Raptors. Mustangs. Corvettes. Chargers. Hell, there might be some fucking Honey Badgers and Bald Eagles somewhere out there in someone's backyard. All these cars are purely for fun and destroying shit, which America is best at. But no, the mouth-breathing moron will still adamantly blindly attack American cars.

What they don't know is that American cars are slowly becoming the cars you and I had on our bedroom wall. I know most of you Opponauts are much, much older than I am, and obviously we all have different tastes, but I'm sure you have had some of these on your wall:

... but right now, somewhere out there, some kid is out there with these on his/her wall:

All of these cars (including the non-American ones) have one thing in common: excess. These cars are excessive. They are batshit crazy. No one truly needs them. But they exist, and they're a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . They are dream cars. And as long as America keeps making more and more of these cars, more and more kids will grow up lusting after them. In 30-40 years from now, when we are looking to buy flying autonomous beige eco comfort-mobiles for our tired asses, those kids, with their new careers and lives, will be looking to buy the American might and muscle of their youths. And that will be just the beginning of it. American cars will be up against what we currently consider the best. We will start seeing (Insert American sports car or supercar or hypercar here) VS Ferrari (Insert model name here), and so on. Maranello won't be pleased. Stuttgart won't be pleased. Angelholm won't be pleased. Sant'Agata Bolognese won't be pleased. Detroit will be.

So, from one youth to the rest of the car world: watch out. America is coming after you. In a good way.

DISCUSSION (13)

FireSpittingV12 > scoob
01/12/2015 at 14:34

I can't be the only one who prefers the previous NSX and GT right?.....right?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > FireSpittingV12
01/12/2015 at 14:36

You might be. But there could be one other person that may come here to say they agree.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > scoob
01/12/2015 at 14:37

I love Stuttgart, but god damn, Detroit Supercars 2015 FTW!!! :D

scoob > FireSpittingV12
01/12/2015 at 14:38

I like the previous NSX, but this GT!

DrScientist > scoob
01/12/2015 at 14:52

growing up in the 80's without the benefit of the internets, the bedroom walls of us "oldies" were subject to the whims of what R&T, car and driver, motor trend decided to put in their special pull out sections, or what spencer's had in their poster section.

to that end, i'll go out on a limb and say that many of us (especially those of us who watched more roger moore than sean connery) probably didn't know what a db-5 was. 250 gto? no idea what this was till i was well into highschool.

our walls had the countach, testarossa, f40, 959, maybe an esprit here and there, and... corvettes.

i'm not saying i wouldn't have put a poster of a jaguar 220 up on the wall if it was available, but we were at the mercy of the magazine publishers and the poster printers.

today's kids have the benefit of more information and fast information... and seemingly countless more actual manufacturers of super cars.

/"when i was your age" rant

KirkyV > scoob
01/12/2015 at 14:55

Kinja'd!!!

Even with that flag on the roof, I just can't see the Fiesta as an American car. It won't click.

cazzyodo > scoob
01/12/2015 at 15:05

Kinja'd!!!

I've used this image in at least one post...and I love it.

scoob > KirkyV
01/12/2015 at 15:15

Yeah, but visuals are what attracts most people who like cars, but don't know as much as Jalops and Opponauts do. They'll see "Ford" and the flag, and they'll think 'Murica!